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The most important money-related questions you should be asking in your relationship

Published March 15th, 2021

Money and romance don’t mix? That doesn’t have to be the case. Especially not if you take the time to talk about your finances with your significant other.  Read on to find out the questions you should be asking... 

It doesn’t cost anything to ask questions, but it can save you a lot of stress and strife in the long run. Especially when it comes to money. That applies to every aspect of life – including your relationship. Taking responsibility and talking about things honestly and openly is so incredibly important.

Because we should all care about our partner’s attitude towards money and how they treat our hard-earned cash. But even if money isn’t a priority for you, it’s still definitely worth asking certain questions. These questions allow us to find out more about a new partner, about their pre-relationship life, about what they want for the future, their role expectations, their views on parenting methods and how they manage their everyday lives.

And the answers can also give a good indication of whether the relationship will work out or not. Because even though love starts with romance and rose petals, real life eventually takes over. So let’s get started:

The 38 most important questions about money in relationships

Financial basics

1. How much do you earn? And are you satisfied with your salary? 2. Do you think you’re good at dealing with money – why/why not? 3. Would it be a problem for you if I earned more than you? 4. Do you wish I would earn more than you? 5. Do you have debts, or have you ever had them? 6. If so, why? 7. How important is money to you? 8. How important is the topic of sustainability for you in relation to money? 9. Are you generous?  10. Does money give you anxiety? 11. Do we want to open a joint account, would we prefer to each keep our own separate accounts or should we open a third one in addition? 12. Should we set up a monthly household budget? 13. And who will pay how much into it?

 Financial background

14. What was the financial situation like at home when you were growing up? 15. How has that influenced your relationship with money? 16. Will you inherit money? 17. Will you inherit debt?

Lifelong dreams and money

18. What is luxury for you and what role does money play in that? 19. Would you like to become financially independent? 20. Do you dream of being rich one day? 21. Do you want to do a lot of travelling? 22. Would you like to own your own house or flat one day?  Marriage and money

23. Do you want to get married? 24. Will we have a prenuptial agreement? 25. What does tax splitting for married couples mean for us and do both of us want it? 26. After tying the knot, which tax bracket do we want to be in?

Family planning 

27. Would you like to have children? 28. Can we afford to have children? 29. How much parental leave do you want to take? 30. How will we cope if one of us starts working part-time so they can take on most of the childcare? 31. Will we both work part-time? 32. Would you be willing to make provisions for my retirement if I were to start working part-time? 33. How will we provide for our child? 34. What do we want to teach our child about money? 35. Will we give our child pocket money and if so, how much?

Retirement provisions

36. What provisions for your old age have you made, if any? 37. Do we want to make financial arrangements for our old age together? 38. How will we deal with our finances if we ever split up?

So, which questions can you already answer for you and your partner? And where do you still need answers?